Sunday, January 27, 2013

Meeting up with Menopause



Eve was a domineering bitch who wore the pants in her relationship.  Oops, no pants not even a fig leaf at that time.  Adam was a weak-willed lily-livered simpering idiot.  If he had stood up to Eve and said, “No, put that damn apple back we are not supposed to eat it,” the world would be a very different place today.  For a start it would be one large nudist colony.  But more importantly, women would not be experiencing pain in childbirth.  Hand in hand with that we would not be having a monthly period.
Hormones, moodiness, irritability, and the worry that this month’s flow might be heavy and leak out are definitely a curse that Adam should have been afflicted with rather than Eve who just made a small suggestion.  She didn’t really expect him to grab that apple and take a bite.  He should have been principled and followed the rules.  Look what his lack of character caused!
Since the age of twelve I’ve been cursed every 28 days.  The only times I’ve missed on the 28 day cycle were the times I was pregnant.  Regular and like clockwork the dreaded lurgy arrives every month without fail.  When I turned 50 I thought I’ve done my time paying for Adam’s sins, it was time for menopause.  I eagerly awaited the onset, looking forward to the first signs of a hot flush, jealous when friends and colleagues started menopause.  No such luck.  Every 28 days it arrived.  It.  The thing that shouldn’t be mentioned out loud.
This month it didn’t arrive on schedule and I have to say I feel a little sad.  It’s like when you wish like mad for something and it happens it’s a bit of a let-down.  It’s not even an anti-climax, it’s just that it’s a realization that I have started on the next chapter of my life – old age.  I’d never previously equated menopause with old age, just the relief that it would be no more monthly periods.  But the fact is, it does mean the end of a chapter of your life and the start of the very last chapter of your life.  There is something so final when you put it like that.  I’m not sure that I’m psychologically ready for that.
This past holiday season I have had two operations and experienced more pain than I could ever have imagined.  Continuous chronic pain 24 hours a day now heading into week 5.  The remarkable thing, is that the trauma from the pain turned my hair grey basically overnight.  The pain aged me and I wonder if that’s what caused the onset of menopause, or if the good Lord upstairs decided that I’m going through enough on the pain front, He’ll just make me miss the 28 day cycle this month.  We’ll only know next month. But after years of wishing for this day, there is a part of me that wishes it will arrive again like clockwork next month so I can delay old age just a little longer.
Cindy Vine is the author of C U @ 8, Not Telling and Defective, all available on Amazon as kindle books and paperbacks.

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