It suddenly dawned on me the other day, that when Siobhan graduates in May I'll be all alone for the very first time in my life.
This was mind-blowing.
I've been alone obviously for the odd weekend and short trip, but generally since the day I was born I've always lived with somebody. As a child growing up it was my grandmother and my parents, my college years I was in a residence until I fell pregnant and had Kerri. Since then it has been my children and a husband who survived 10 years of being with me before he got booted. Life has always been full of people, I've never been on my own. What a daunting prospect?
Who do you talk to when you watch a movie and want to discuss what's happening?
How do you cook for only one person?
How silent will the apartment be?
Who do you share your travel experiences with?
How fun can it be chasing after the 7 wonders by yourself?
It's enough to make a person depressed, being all alone in solitary confinement. Maybe I'll take to singing that song "All by myself..."
But then again...
I can watch what I want on TV without fighting anybody for the TV remote. I can watch my crime channels and sports games. I might never have to watch Disney or Nickelodeon again. What a pleasure!
I can eat beans on toast for dinner if I wish, oh yes and seafood. I can eat fish, make Tom Yum Goong and not feel guilty as I am the only one in the house that eats seafood.
I can cry during Extreme Makeover or other movies or shows without being laughed at.
I can go out with friends and not feel guilty about leaving a teenager at home.
I can feel quite liberated. There are some benefits after all.
But the thought of being all by myself, of no interactions when I walk through my front door, nobody telling me they love me and wishing me good night, no tantrums to contend with, nobody to tell me how delicious the meal I made was. I'm not sure if I am going to be ready for it but how does one prepare oneself?
I guess there's always Skype.
Cindy Vine is the author of Not Telling, Defective and CU@8, all available on Amazon.com as a Kindle ebook or paperback.