Thursday, May 6, 2010
I have discovered if I play music loudly, I drown out the barking, yapping, whining dog across the road. I find it hard to focus with that dog working overtime to give me a headache.
Why is it that we always have to pee at the most inopportune time? My bladder never quite survived being used as a trampoline during my three pregnancies. In the middle of this huge swimming gala, I suddenly realised that I had to pee. Unfortunately, I had to try and rediscover my pelvic floor muscles and practice those exercises that the urologist gave me last June which I hadn't yet gotten around to practising yet. Somehow, I managed to walk to my classroom after the gala to sort the medals. However, it was in leaving the classroom that I hit problems. Major problems. Everytime I stood up, I could feel gravity take over and because I had to squeeze my pelvic muscles so hard, I couldn't move my legs at all. So there I was, standing in the middle of my classroom, unable to proceed or retreat. Eventually, with sweat pouring down my brow from the concerted effort of not overflowing, I managed to lean forward and pull a chair towards me. I hurriedly sat down and focused on once again gaining control of the leaky bladder. When I thought I had got it together again, I once again attempted standing up and walking to my classroom door. I got a few steps and knew I couldn't do it. Unfortunately, the chair was now to far away for me to reach. I was stuck, stranded. A kid came in to tell me that they were waiting for me on the field for the start of the football tournament. I smiled, or rather grimaced, and pretending to be studying something in the folder I had in my hands, all the while wondering how I was going to manage to escape this predicament. I have to confess, as disgusting as this might sound, I did momentarily contemplate the sink next to the classroom window, but with no curtains in my classroom and many kids wandering around, I quickly discarded that dsturbing thought. Eventually, I gritted my teeth and managed to speed walk with crossed legs to the bathroom. The moral of the story is, when you get to be an old woman like me, don't leave relieving your bladder if you feel the urge, because it doesn't much to take you beyond the beyond. I was seriously beyond the beyond.
Have a great weekend!