Friday, May 28, 2010

Please pass me the blind defeathered carrier pigeon

You know the bird? The one with two broken wings. Trying to get anything done on the internet today is a major mission, so I figured, bring back the bird. Call it out of retirement, unless someone's already eaten it, and I can send birdie along to deliver my emails and messages. Gotta be faster than this antiquated internet system that they're running today. I have to ask with tears in my eyes, running in glistening rivulets down my plump cheeks, what the *#@!&* has happened to the fibre optic cable which was supposed to have made the internet faster? Has some prehistoric beast dwelling in the depths of the sea off the coast of Zanzibar, changed its diet from drunken skunken pink Englishmen to underwater fibre optic cables? Usually, the internet at home is 300% faster than this, but this? Poo, I say, poo poo poo.
The expression on my face is currently not a happy one, so I shall attempt to put things in perspective before giving up totally on catching up with mail and heading off to bed to read Jodi Picoult's latest, and that is I do have a house, food and a car, which is more than a lot of people on the continent. So, I shall be grateful for what I have, and stop bemoaning the snailish internet, and make a note to catch a pigeon first thing in the morning.
Have a great weekend with fast internet!

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