13 Reasons why there needs to be this conversation

The Netflix series '13 Reasons Why' might be a controversial series, but what it did do was heighten awareness and start a conversation about the issues facing teenagers today.  Issues like bullying, cyber-bullying, sexual assault, rape, suicide, cliques, under-age drinking, drugs, homosexuality, school shootings and the adults who are supposed to be in charge having no control.  All these issues in one television series might make it overwhelming for the viewer.  But what you have to remember, is that the majority of our teenagers are overwhelmed by one or more of these issues every single day of their lives, either as a victim, perpetrator or a witness to the events.  Saying, "Kids will be kids," will no longer cut it I'm afraid.
What are we doing to help them?
Teenagers are notoriously bad at sharing what is really going on in their lives with their parents.  There are many reasons for this, but a big reason is that they don't want to disappoint their parents.  So teenagers keep secrets that sometimes they don't have the emotional maturity to deal with.  This leads them to make some bad, ill-informed choices that complicates a situation even more.  Then before you know it they are in so deep and drowning, and that's when the really bad choices are made.  And often all of this happens without the parents having a clue.
But, the school is aware 9 times out of 10.
Somebody on the staff always knows something.
I can almost feel the earth shudder as millions of educators shake their heads simultaneously in denial.  Subconsciously you know I am right.  I have been involved in education for over 30 years and I know that I am speaking the truth.
You see, in every situation there is always one or more children who can't keep a secret.  That child will pick a teacher they trust to confide in.  They might not tell you the whole story, or the story might be their truth and different to others' truth, but they will tell you something.  These children would have been the tattletales in elementary school.  Teachers will share what they were told with other teachers in the staff room.  But many times it will just stay as gossip and nothing will be done about it.
Don't say the school was unaware.  Somebody on the staff would have known something.  However, school management often choose to try and bury it as they don't want it to be known that their school is unsafe and they can't guarantee the safety of their students.  They have this attitude that if they pretend these issues are not there and not happening in their school, then all will just blow over and the issues will just fade away.  Kids will be kids, right?  Kids exaggerate, so it is never as bad as it's meant to be.  Wrong!  It's often a good deal worse.  What might seem silly to an adult can be devastating to a child.  And teenagers are still children.
As an educator, you need to know your students.
We have to take these issues in our schools seriously.
We have to give our teenagers a voice.
Nobody should feel alone and overwhelmed by life.
Dark times pass.
Support just needs to be there to help each other get through the dark moments.
We are in this world together, not alone.
The suicide rate in the United States has seen sharp increases in recent years. Studies have shown that the risk of suicide declines sharply when people call the national suicide hotline: 1-800-273-TALK.
Bullying in all its forms is a very big problem that largely goes unaddressed.  Bullying, sexual assault, rape are all connected.  If there is a culture of bullying in a school, chances are there will sexual assaults and rape happening in the shadows.  Sweeping reported incidents under a carpet and pretending they never happened shows the bully that there are no consequences for their actions, and that what they are doing is acceptable.
School management needs to step up and address the bullying that is going on in their school.
It is not just going to go away.  If there are no consequences it will get worse.
Our children are our future.  What kind of a future are we planning, if we are sending broken children into the world?
This is why we need to have this conversation.

The Freedom Club highlights some of the bullying that goes on in our schools.  It is a story about a group of teenagers who are tired of being victims.  They form a club to offer support to each other, so that together they can stand up to the bullies in their school.
But standing up to the bullies is not easy when you have no support from the school itself.
And it is even more difficult when the two biggest bullies are the principal's children.
And when the principal himself is a bully, you might have to go over to the dark side to get justice.
The Freedom Club continues the conversation started by the engaging, often controversial series 13 Reasons Why.
We have to do something.
Bullying must stop.
School shootings must stop.
We must do more to prevent teen suicides.
More must be done to make our children realize that sexual assaults are not just fun pranks.  The victims are hurt and emotionally scarred for life.
Rape is not only a crime committed by a man wearing a mask that breaks in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night.  
Rape is when you have sex with someone without their consent.
Many rapes go unreported.
The majority of them actually, so we have no accurate figures.
People tend to report stranger rape, but not rape by people they know.  Because somehow, even though they are the victim, they feel guilty.
As if they must have done something to cause the rapist to have sex with them.
Non-consensual sex is not okay. 
Not Telling highlights the very difficult issue of being raped by someone you know.
And if you are sexually assaulted or raped, should you tell?
Even if it will hurt someone close to you.
Do you protect them or protect yourself?
How might keeping it secret affect you for years to come?
Cindy Vine is a South African author and teacher who currently lives and works in Norway.  
She writes reality fiction, stories about the darker side of humanity.  Stories about issues many of us face each day. 
Issues that are hard to talk about.
But we have to get these conversations going.
If we are to be saved.

Writing about rape

There are some topics which are difficult to write about, just as there are some topics that it's difficult for a reader to read about.  However, it's important for those topics to be addressed because they are, like it or not, a part of our everyday life.  Rape, child abuse, domestic violence are some of those sensitive topics.  It takes a brave author to write about it.  Some readers might feel horrified, some might feel offended, But that is the point.  We want you to feel.  We want you to feel so much that you will do something to stop it.  In The Case of Billy B I looked at child abuse.  In Not Telling I looked at rape and it's impact on the life of the victim.  In Defective I looked at using emotional and mental abuse to manipulate others.  If you don't put these sensitive topics out there, people won't read about them and become aware of what is going on.  There are sick individuals in this world.  We have to stop hiding our heads in the sand.  Lydia Brew is an author who has tackled the sensitive topic of rape.  Here's what she has to say.
"Many people wonder why authors write what they write. I have cerebral palsy, and many people wonder why I do not write about my disability.  Fiction authors need to able explore different worlds and entertain. Some novels are pure entertainment while others deal with social issues as well. All novels should entertain as well as make a reader think.
A few years ago, two teenagers were kidnapped and their names were given on the national news. Luckily they were found alive. It was determined that the teenagers had been sexually assaulted and their names were not given after that. What is wrong with this? Society says they were violated; therefore, they need their privacy. Why is that? After extensive research was done for Ungolden Silence, the information gave a little insight as to why the name of a rape victim is kept private by the media.
Why are sexual crimes against women hard to talk about? It is because of the way women have been treated throughout history. The earliest account of women is that they were taken in as bounty between hostile tribes during war. Rape is an English word, which is derived from the word “rapere” which means, “to steal, seize, or carry away.” Now in early society rape was considered marriage. Once a man raped a women, she was taken to his home, “Bride capture” is what they called it. A man saw what he wanted and because he was stronger, he took the woman he wanted. Society needs to begin to understand that women are not objects of pleasure.
While there are many kinds of sexual assaults, this blog will deal with rape. Some think that rape is about sex. Sex is between two consenting adults. A rape is about power, while being intimate is about love. The problem is the action of lovemaking and rape are similar - making it somewhat impossible to tell the difference between the two. Therefore, keeping the name of rape victim private, does not help the victim, but it helps the rapist.
Society needs to realize that rapists are people. There are many kinds of rapists. There are many reasons why people rape. The one thing that all rapists have in common is the fact that they will do it again.
It is imperative that society sees that keeping the name of a rape victim private is not helping anyone. Rape is a crime and the victim does not need to hide.
Ungolden Silence takes an extensive look at all of this. I first started writing the story for entertainment. Once I was finished and other people read it, they suggested that I do a little research.  I began to realize that the media unknowingly protects the wrong person. A lady told me that women who are raped feel violated, and that it is personal. While that is true, the whole picture has to be looked at. Does any lady want another lady to be violated?   After reading Ungolden Silence, it is my hope and desire that society sees a rape victim as a person who needs her rapist to be found and put in jail. The rapist more than likely will find another woman and will rape her.   Here is a quote from one of the characters in the novel, “Rape is a crime, and not to report it is a crime.”
It is my desire for the reader to enjoy Ungolden Silence, then begin to think about the social issues that the story dealt with. I dealt with my disability in a subtle way. Having a disability, from birth is a part of who I am.  I dealt with how society deals with rape because it something that I think society needs to think about.
Writing a good story is hard work. However, if the writer has the passion about what he is writing, then he would have done two things: entertain the reader, and told a good, thought provoking story. It is my hope that Ungolden Silence will be entertaining as well as thought provoking." Lydia Brew.

Lydia E. Brew was born with cerebral palsy but has not allowed her physical limitations to stand in her way. Her writing also provides insights into the world of the physically challenged. She graduated from Texas Southern University where she received The Society of Professional Journalist Sigma Chi Citation for Achievement. She was a member of the drama club and pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Under the leadership of one of her journalism professors, Miss Brew penned her first book Edith, The Story of Edith Irby Jones, M.D. about the first African-American to graduate from The Arkansas School of Medicine. Upon finishing college, Miss Brew worked with the Houston Association of Black Journalists. She is a Christian and attends St. Timothy’s United Methodist Church.
Miss Brew founded Lydia’s Educational and Charitable Organization (LECO) when she decided to encourage young people to write. LECO did this by sponsoring a yearly contest in which the contestant had to write about positive role models who were alive and from the Houston area. Each student who wrote an eligible essay was given a certificate of participation. Winning writers received cash prizes.
Her second book Our Learn Together Book is based on the biography of Dr. Jones. It tells her story in a simplified format on one page and allows the child to writes his biography on the other. There are activities in the back where children can learn developmental skills and older children can learn to do research.