Sunday, November 29, 2009

Just get up and brush yourself off

Why is it that sometimes everything just seems to get you down? I came back from India all excited, I'd survived another plane trip, proof that I'd conquered my fear of flying, and then sank into a depression. Every little thing that I'd normally ignore, irritated and frustrated the hell out of me. There were many times this past week, when I was ready to load up my car with our stuff and just start driving to the Malawi border, heading back down to Cape Town.

In retrospect, it could be as a result of a very long term. I'm just feeling a little burnt-out, brain-dead. Friday was a holiday at school so we had a nice long weekend. I thought I'd head into school anyway, and do my planning for my new unit of inquiry. The internet was so slow at school, it was taking 40-50 minutes to load a page. The server kept crashing and I could find no sign of the past planners I was supposed to use as a base for my new one. My co-ordinator who had promised faithfully to come in and help me plan the unit, was a no-show. It was time to pack up the car and drive into the sunset. I was so mad with frustration at not being able to get anything done, that I went straight home and made it my mission to finish The Case of Billy B.

So, if I look back and reflect on what could be a nightmarish week workwise, I can feel proud and satisfied that I completed the NaNoWriMo challenge of writing 50 000 words in 30 days. Yesterday, I finally finished my first draft of The Case of Billy B and now the editing starts. The serious editing and revising. I should have started that already, but as it's such a big job, I've been procrastinating. Siobhan had a sleepover last night and the blasted girls were banging things, breaking glasses and giggling until 5am when in frustration I got up and washed the dishes and had a cup of coffee. No sleep for me last night, so no wonder I'm not in an editing mood. "Sorry," Siobhan sang as I stomped down the stairs at 5am. "Too late for sorry," I snapped back, wondering how I can punish her for keeping me awake all night.

It was a good day to finish my first draft though, as the 28th November is my late grandmother, Winifred Ada Vine's birthday. My grandmother meant the world too me, and although she's been gone sixteen years, I still miss her so much.

Instead of editing this morning, I collected all the ripe tomatoes from my garden and started making a tomato chutney. Which reminds me, I'd better go and give it a stir. I promise when I'm finished that, I'll get stuck into my work even though it is Sunday. I just feel so shattered, so tired. Those damn girls!

So I guess what I'm wanting to say, is when you feel down, just get up and brush yourself off. And remember, as it says in the Bible, "This too shall pass."

Have a great week ahead!




jesse said...

Oh roommates, I assume roommates at least. I have the same problem. And what do you do? By the time I see them next I can't figure out how to be angry with them so that they won't do it again next time. They just blame me for not having earplugs.

For goodness sakes, do not start editing your nano novel! Whatever you do it should not be that. You should still be celebrating. Once the celebrating is done use that high to write as much as you can on other topics.

Don't look at that novel until January at least. That's the advice I would give anyone, and anyone will give you. Until then you cannot be distanced enough to see it as it is.

I know what you mean though. It really is terrifying. Every time I try to edit a nano I sit there wishing someone was beside me holding my hand and telling me what to do.

Carmen Borthwick on hubpages said...

Hi Cindy, great post! As a writer I agree with Liosis, let 'Billy' rest awhile along with you. Take a time-out to giggle with the girls in the wee small hours of the morning, look forward to the holiday season that is fast approaching and enjoy your tomato chutney! Edit Billy with a refreshed mind and heart, the task will be a bit easier and you will be able to be more sujective when you revisit it. All the best and a big hug, Carmen

Cindy Vine said...

I don't think I can wait to edit it! I want to get it published and won't be able to focus on anything properly until the editing is done!
I like the idea you put forward on Hubpages about us working on a project together! Sounds good, but I have to getr Billy put to bed first lol. The tomato chutney was superb!