Cindy Vine: How to avoid the rejection blues

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

How to avoid the rejection blues

It always amazes me how many women there are out there, who for some reason or other are trapped in abusive relationships. For every one of us who escapes a terrible situation, there are many more who are unable to escape and face daily abuse. Nobody should stay in an abusive relationship. You are worth more than that. You deserve better. In fact. You deserve the best.

Senica Evans escaped an abusive situation, and like I did with Fear, Phobias and Frozen Feet has written an inspirational book about her experiences and her escape. It is very cathartic to write about what you went through and use the drama to help others get through a similar situation.

Just as you learn to cope with rejection in your life, as a writer you also have to know how to handle rejection. Senica Evans shares her thoughts on How to Avoid the Rejection Blues.

Rejection, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is the act to refuse to accept, recognize, submit to, believe, make use of, consider, or deny. Rejection is inevitable in life especially in the creative business. If you want to experience any degree of success you must first get comfortable with NO. On the other side of comfort is greatness. Find comfort in the uncomfortable.

Hearing NO is not only uncomfortable; it brings the grey cloud of negativity. You’ve heard the song with the low melodic beats and snazzy snarls. The tune carries you down the reminiscent lane headed straight towards the place where the blues is felt in every word a person speaks. You know those blues… rejection blues. Although you’re drawn in, avoid this place in order to reach your ultimate destination. Here are a few tips on avoiding the rejection blues;

Acknowledge. Refusing to acknowledge the ‘NO’ will only allow the associated feelings of negativity and self-doubt to fester and grow. Once negativity takes root, look out, it takes over. The best response to a ‘NO’ is not to take it personal because the response isn’t about you. It might be bad timing, not a good fit, or some other reason that has nothing to do with you.

Acceptance. Hearing NO comes with the territory. You have to develop thick skin and remember NO has nothing to do with you. No’s don’t indicate your writing skill. They indicate another’s preference, timing, or preferred style. Accept the NO as part of the job and keep pressing forward. Perfect matches for your work are out there.

Embracing. Have fun with the No’s. I’m sure that sounds sort of weird but… you might as well get used to them since they are a regular part of a writer’s life, or any creative for that matter. Expect them, welcome them, embrace them… they’re just bumps along the path.

Let Go. Move on and quick. Let go of any associated negative feelings of self-doubt, worry, or not being good enough. You are just fine and are the best version of you. Take your NO in stride then let it go. Allow yourself daily reminders (incantations are a great tool) of your effort and greatness.

The longer you wallow in rejection blues, the more difficult getting back up and out there becomes. The rejection blues is akin to being swept away by the currant taking you off course. Stay active and let the momentum propel you forward. Remember, the best version of you is already good enough.

Senica Evans as author, relationship coach, radio host, and speaker is passionate about helping women overcome the destruction in their life to reveal their true beauty and greatness. As a survivor of domestic violence, sexual assault, and destructive relationships, Senica founded SennySen to be a guiding light to women and teen girls. Senica is the author of Married to Him, an autobiography of the destruction she faced in her abusive destructive marriage. Senica is preparing to release her second book later this year; Woman Free Yourself: A Guide to Healing from Divorce or a Heart Wrenching Breakup by Starting Over, Rediscovering You, & Crushing Bitterness, Anger, and Resentment. Visit her at http://www.sennysen.com .