There are times when
there is no logic to things people do
When I recently checked into the Lutheran Mission Guesthouse
in Iringa, Tanzania, the guy at reception put me in a large room with the
biggest bed I had ever seen. I could lie
sideways, upside down, it didn’t matter, as the bed was so huge it made no
difference. The next morning as I was
heading out to my workshop, the same guy who checked me in the day before
informed me that I must give him my luggage as I was moving to a new room. “Why am I moving?” I couldn’t hide my irritation. “Because your room is booked by some other
people,” he replied with a smile. “So
why did you put me in that room if you knew I couldn’t stay there?” I thought that was a reasonable thing to
ask. He shrugged, “I don’t know. No reason.”
What can you say to that?
Being back in Tanzania, albeit for just a few days, made me
remember some of the strange laws that defied logic. The traffic police dressed like sea captains
in their white uniforms that would be covered in a layer of red dust by the end
of the day. The road blocks to check that
buried somewhere in your car’s trunk would be a fire extinguisher so that you
could put out the flames if your car suddenly randomly caught fire.
Going to Iringa Airport, I was surprised to see that they
had upped their security. Drivers of the
vehicle have to step out of the car and be body-searched, while the people
actually traveling and boarding the plane are left alone to sit and wait in the
car for their driver to be allowed back in.
That defies logic.
At Dar-es-Salaam Airport I noted that my departure gate was
Gate 7. However, there were no signs
anywhere for a Gate 7. They only had
Gates 1-6. So I asked one of the staff
there if they could tell me where Gate 7 was.
The response, “There is no Gate 7.
You must go to Gate 5. We just
say Gate 7 so you can go to Gate 5.”
Sometimes there are no words!
If you show
compassion people will take advantage.
By the grand age I am now, life should have made me more
cynical than I am. But despite my
cynicism, I know that people will continue to take me for a ride. I am a Giver and people just cannot resist a
Giver. They spin you a story so that you
will help them. What annoys me the most
is that they believe I am so gullible and stupid, and that’s why I help
them. The fact is, I see through their
bullshit but there is something in me that compels me to help them. Whether it’s the desperation in their eyes as
they spin me a line or the fact that they have children, I don’t really
know. But I will do what I can to help
them. This is self-destructive
behaviour. I think I need therapy. Because you give them a hand and they grab
all of you in until you start drowning in their mess. You give all you have until you have nothing
left for your family. And you know that
nobody is going to help you. You just
have to work your way back up until the next person asks for help.
People are
well-meaning but invariably let you down
Everybody has good intentions. They make kind offers because at that time it
makes them feel good. However, because
of time constraints or lack of resources, they let you down the majority of the
time. So when people offer to help, you
need to have a back-up plan in case they don’t come through for you. At the end of the day, the only person you
should rely on is yourself.
24 Hours in a day is
not enough
In fact 7 days a week is not enough. A two day weekend is too short. Time is the biggest enemy. Time also has a special friend called
Procrastination. The amount of things
that need to be done does not leave much time to follow your dreams. Eat Work Sleep becomes my mantra. Often it is just Work and Sleep. However, recently I have decided to make time
for reading and writing, my two loves.
Cooking is another favourite past time, but cooking costs money, so that
is on the back-burner for a while.
Sometimes I think a 36 hour day would be better. But then I have to ask, would I have the
stamina to last that long? As it is I
start work at 5.30am and leave my office at 6pm feeling shattered and dreaming
of an early night and sleep. Then my
brain can only do something mindless like watch the Crime Channel or Reality
TV. Serious thinking is beyond
reach. I really think we need to start
protesting for a four day work week and a three day weekend. That would definitely give our lives more
balance.
Traveling gives your
life an added dimension
For the life of me I cannot comprehend people who never
leave their home town or city. As a
person who travels a lot, and by a lot – I mean more than most people, I have
to say experiencing different cultures and seeing different places others just
dream of, makes your life richer. Seeing
a place in a photograph is not the same as embracing it with all your
senses. Although endless traveling can
be exhausting, the benefits make it all worth it. One day when I am old and senile, I can look
through all my photographs and remember the places I went, the food I ate, the
things I saw and the amazing people I met.
I can honestly say, that I have lived my life to its fullest. If you can travel, do it. If you don’t have the money, find it and
travel. The world is out there waiting
to be explored.
Being Happy and
Healthy means more than being Rich
I have come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be
rich. Money is not my friend. I get it in and I give it away. While money can buy you lots of cool stuff,
and means you can go on amazing holidays and also pay your debts, money can’t
buy you happiness. I know that sounds
like a cliché but it’s true. For the
last two years I have let the lack of money cause me such stress that it’s
affected my sleep and aged me considerably.
How stupid to give Money that kind of power! So the last while I have decided to focus on
being happy and healthy. To start doing
the things that I love. And to not let
well-meaning people try and dictate to me what I should and should not do. This is my life, my decisions, my
choices. And the choice I am making is
to be happy.
Your Family will
always be your Family
Every family has their ups and downs. You may not always agree with what each other
does, and you may say things or do things which hurt each other. But the bottom line is that they are your
family. They are a part of you and you
are proud of their achievements and saddened by their disappointments. No matter what, I will always be there for my
family because I believe in family. I
look at my three children and I am overwhelmed with feelings of love. If I didn’t do much right in this life, my
three children are definitely something I got right.
It’s okay if you don’t
like everybody
And it’s really okay if everybody doesn’t like you. So much of my life was wasted trying to
please people and make them like me. I
was the eternal people-pleaser. (Read
doormat) I worried about what people
thought about me, and tolerated people I disliked. As I’ve grown older, I am more concerned
about liking myself and not letting myself down than being concerned about what
other people think. There are some
people who, when they walk into a room, make the hair on the back of my neck
rise. There very presence causes me
irritation. Therefore it is
understandable that for some people, my presence and personality might annoy
them immensely so that they can’t stand being around me. And that is okay because we are all
unique. If we were all the same the
world would be a very boring place.
I am finally
comfortable with how I look
For years I wanted to be anorexic model-thin. No amounts of dieting or exercise would ever
make me look that way and I have accepted that.
In fact, I have embraced that I am overweight and have discovered that I
can use it to my advantage. Today I
asked for a special seat as I am old and fat.
So they bumped me up to First Class and gave me three empty seats! Bonus!
Of course, squeezing down narrow aisles will always be a problem. And as much as I would love to climb to the
top of Kilimanjaro it ain’t going to happen.
A helicopter flight to the top will do me just fine.
Strange things happen
to me
Whether it is a young Maasai dentist offering me cows for my
young daughter while having root canal treatment, or falling backwards into the
bath of a hotel in Moscow in the middle of the night and getting wedged with my
legs sticking into the air because I mistook it for the toilet in the dark,
these sorts of things happen to me all the time. Besides giving me a wealth of stories to tell,
and making my life a rich tapestry of hilarious and sometimes dangerous
adventures, it stops me from being bored.
I can never say my life has been boring.
From smuggling money out of a country in a sanitary pad, to making an
emergency landing in rebel-held territory, I have experienced a lot and for
that I am very thankful. At the time you
wonder, “Why me?” But afterwards you
feel special that you are always the one chosen to land up in disastrous and
often extremely funny situations.
For example, my first night in Iringa I was way too tired to head into town to forage for food. The Lutheran Mission where I was staying did not sell dinner. So I dug in my backpack and found a bag of two minute noodles and a berry-flavoured teabag. I asked the man at Reception if I could get some boiling water, a cup and a bowl. He brought me a flask of boiling water, a cup and a side-plate. I patiently explained that I needed a bowl as I had to pour the boiling water on the noodles. He went back to the kitchen and returned with a dinner plate. My patience was now starting to grow thin. I showed him the noodles and modeled pouring the water onto it so he could see a dinner plate would not work. He returned to the kitchen and came back with a very large stainless steel mixing bowl. I smiled and thanked him. However, I must have looked quite a sight eating my noodles out of a large mixing bowl with a teaspoon!
Yesterday flying on a little 8 seater Cessna as it bounced and
bumped its way through dark clouds, I had an epiphany. Life is a bit like the flight I took. You have smooth bits where you can see the
ground below and know exactly where you are heading. Then you fly into a dark cloud and are blown
around the skies, unable to see anything above or below. To make matters worse, you discover that the
seatbelt does not work, so if the plane does plummet to earth you will have no
chance of survival. But you trust, you
trust that the pilot who appears to be sleeping in the cockpit, will fly the
plane safely through the dark clouds until you come out the other side. You can’t let those dark clouds overwhelm and
panic you. You can’t let the air
pockets, sudden drops and being blown around the skies frighten you. You have to focus on getting to the end of
the cloud and letting the sun shine on you once again. And trust that the pilot wakes up in time to
land the plane!
Cindy Vine is an
author and teacher living in Cape Town South Africa. Besides writing, she runs an NGO which helps
children who don’t cope with mainstream education. Cindy is the author of Hush Baby, Defective, Not Telling, C U @ 8 and The Case of
Billy B. All her books are available
on Amazon in both Kindle and Paperback format.
