Why I can't write

This seems to be the year of distractions.
I don't know what it is that some years you can achieve so much and other years it's just one distraction after another that blocks your vision, hampers your creativity and manages to force one's writing onto the back burner. 
I love writing.  Stories, relationship advice, I love it.  But this year it is a struggle and just isn't happening for me.
My youngest daughter will tell you, I'm addicted to research.  Mention something I don't know and I have an obsessive compulsion to find out all I can about it.  This means that my time on my laptop is ill-spent researching trivial bits and pieces that mean nothing to anybody just to satisfy some weird urge I have to acquire useless knowledge about random subjects.  It's a huge time-waster that I can't get control of.  An addiction I don't seem quite ready to give up.
During my recovery time after another bout with breast cancer, I should have been able to use that time to write.  Instead, I became completely obsessed with researching my roots.  I did find out some scandalous stuff but seriously, what can I actually do with that information?  How useful is it?  If I am honest with myself then it is just another waste of my time and time is very precious to me.

Being an armchair sports fanatic, a year of world cups is the worst possible thing for me.  First the cricket world cup consumed my weekends and killed my writing.  Now it's the rugby world cup and as a die-hard Springbok supporter I find it of the utmost importance to my sanity and psyche to compulsively read every bit of news about the Springboks and their world cup bid written in every blog and newspaper around the world.  Weekends are taken up with rugby-watching and it's very hard to focus on anything else.  Even planning an October getaway and December holiday has been pushed aside.  I have a one-track mind and it's not about sex.  Rugby, that's all I can think about at present.  I try and avoid conversations with people as I instinctively try and turn the conversations around to rugby and the Springboks chances in this world cup.  This is sad.

I have two books I should be working on.  Redesigning yourself for the multi-tasking generation which I'm co-writing with Jeremy Sherr, and C U @ 8, a novel I'm quite excited about.  I've promised myself that after the world cup, these books will get my full attention.  But there's always something else, isn't there?

Marketing.  The bain of my life.  Indie authors have to spend a lot of time marketing, especially if you want to enjoy the successes which come with increased sales.  Marketing is time-consuming, and at the moment is compartmentalised with watching E!  I can do both at the same time.  However, I do not spend nearly enough time on marketing.

Parenting takes time if you are a single-parent.  Your children expect you to talk and interact with them, fetch and carry them, all of which makes inroads on your time.  And if you just agree with them or pretend to listen, they have this nasty habit of taking your inattention personally, and throwing it back at you when you need their support.

And last of all is my job.  A huge distraction as I have to go to work during the week.  Because you receive a salary, the expectation is that you'll put in the hours and do the work.  Unfortunately, I do love my job so feel this compulsion to do the extra yards and go the extra mile.  If only I had a horrible job and didn't have to work.  Now if I could just make the time for marketing, to get the sales to supplement my income, then maybe...?  With one more child to go to university and finish school, retiring to write is not an option for a good few years.

My goal for this week is to manage my time and make the time to write.  It's what I'm passionate about (besides the rugby) so it stands to reason that I should make the time to follow my passion.

Have a good week.

Cindy

Hectic, hectic, hectic!

Where has the time gone?  It's hard to believe that I've been back at work for nearly three weeks already.  I arrived back longing for Cape Town, but had to jump straight into the hectic end-of-term madness that occurs in every school.  Tempers are short, everybody is stressed and the Easter holiday is all that keeps one going. 
Somehow or other, my editor and I managed the final edits and Defective is now available on Amazon Kindle.  The print copy is still a way away.  This frees me up to work on How to Say NO to Sex and other Survival Tips for the Suddenly Single.  I've decided to take a short break from novels and compile some of the articles I wrote for Hubpages into a fun, easy-to-read self-help book which will be a combination of practical advice and general whackiness.  I'll be expanding on many of the articles and adding more material.  At the same time I'm working on a more serious self-help book called Redesigning Yourself for the Multi-tasking Generation, which I am co-writing with Jeremy Sherr, a world-renowned and highly-regarded homeopath who's dabbled into all kinds of alternative disciplines.
School for this quarter ends on Wednesday 6th April, and I'm already counting sleeps.  Besides a quick safari and a few nights at Turtle Bay at Waitamu in Kenya, I just want to chill at home and do some serious writing.  Well, that's my aim anyhow!  It all depends on if the power holds out.
Since I've been back the power has been worse than terrible going out either during the day, at night, or both.  And to make matters worse, my house seems to have an added problem which causes my power to go out every time the wind blows or it rains, while everybody else still has power.  Apparently, as the school electrician told me before he repaired my power problem by hitting the sparking box at the top of the pole with a long stick, the aluminium has a problem when it meets the copper and it causes a carbon build-up which he has to shake off either by wobbling the wires or hitting the box with a long stick.  Now as I said, I'm not an electrician, but this does not sound like a permanent solution to the problem, especially as its the rainy season.  Also, sparks, flames and smoke periodically coming from the box on the 4 metre pole outside my kitchen door is surely not normal and probably a danger.  But, the elctrician didn't seemed too fussed so maybe I shouldn't be as well.  Unfortunately, it does worry me, but luckily his stick waving got the power going so that I could watch my Stormers Rugby team chalk up another win!
Have a great week as we count down to the holidays!
luv
Cindy

Relaxing and recuperating

It's amazing how you can get used to pain.  This has now been over two weeks of constant pain, and all I can think about are the poor people who experience constant pain on a daily basis year in and year out.  Pain is wearying and slows you down.  I don't know how those poor people do it.  It can definitely get you down, that's for sure.  But, I am still determined not to take painkillers and just let my body do its thing by itself.  My last mastectomy I remember being completely zonked out on painkillers and I took so long to recover and eventually ended up being sent off for respite care and being treated for post-traumatic stress disorder.  So this time I'm leaving it up to my mind and my body, and throwing away the drugs.  Hopefully, this little experiment will work.
At least it gives me a clear mind to work on my different book projects!  I wouldn't be able to do that if I was zonked out on drugs!


The backyard at the Hermanus house at dusk.

 After the U2 concert, I decided I needed to retreat to a quiet place to let my mind and body do their work.  Although I love my Mom to death, she is a little manic, racing here and there and when you stay with her you get caught up in her jetstream.  I swear she has more energy and life in her than someone in their twenties.  It can be exhausting being around her.  So as my folks were staying in their Cape Town flat while my Mom organised the redecorating and renovating of my sister's house, their beautiful house in Hermanus was unoccupied.  Kerri, my eldest daughter, and I decided to flee there and just relax.
The good thing, is when the pain gets too much or I get tired, I can lie on the couch and just read a book or watch TV.  I don't have to rush off anywhere at any particular time.  I haven't been able to do this for a very long time.  There are always things that need to be done and deadlines which have to be met.  Life can be hectic.

View from the lounge in the morning.

Despite all the relaxing I have managed to get a lot of work done.  I've completed the first draft of my novel Defective; completed the research for How to say NO to sex and other survival tips for the suddenly single; and worked on the Diet chapter of Redesigning Yourself for the Multitasking Generation, the book I'm writing with the esteemed and reknowned homeopath, Jeremy Sherr.  The good thing, is I can just work on them throughout the day when I feel like it.  I wish everyday of my life could be like this and I can work full-time on my books.  However, with a child still at school and a son at Hotel School I have to keep on working.
Kerri and I leave Hermanus on Thursday, and head back to Cape Town.  I plan on taking Tony and his girlfriend to watch the Stormers play rugby at Newlands on Saturday.  Kerri is not interested in seeing buffed men run around in tight shorts.  Poor girl doesn't know what she's missing!  Then a week of spending time visiting family and friends in Cape Town and then heading back to Tanzania.  So in effect I have four more days to get as much work done on these books as possible.  So what am I updating this blog for?  Got to go!
love
Cindy