Just when you thought things were slowing down...

That cottage by the sea and lawn bowls at the club every Wednesday afternoon sounds more and more tempting by the day.  But knowing me, I'll be bored after the first week.  I've come to realise that my life has to be non-stop action and out of control for me to be truely happy. 
Our Grade 5 Exhibition was a huge success with students raising money for many causes.  When you see the Action they take, then you realise what a brilliant programme the PYP is.
This past weekend five staff took 27 little darlings down to Dar-es-Salaam for the big primary schools swimming gala and football tournament.  After a dubious start where the bus company delivered a bus that probably wouldn't have made it to the nearest fuel station in one piece (no seat belts and the seats were all loose and sliding everywhere) there was no way it would last the 10 hour bus trip to Dar.  But that was just typical of Tanzania.  And here I'd thought they'd think me anal retentive for phoning them twice a week for the last two months to confirm we'd be getting a new bus with seat belts!
The great hotel Siobhan and I had stayed in last year (Q Bar), granted it had been during the week, proved to be a bad recommendation for one of the parents.  Friday nights at the Q-Bar is obviously a no-no, with blaring loud music and prostitutes plying their trade in the rooms at night.  He said he couldn't sleep, and tried to think of a polite way to describe the sounds of sex penetrating through his walls.  I suggested 'Humpy Bumpy' and he fell in love with that, managing to include 'Humpy Bumpy' in every conversation from then on.  I'm not sure what his wife will think when he shares his new vocab with her when he gets back home.

The kids did so well, the seniors coming second out of nine schools in the swimming, and the girls placing third in the football.  They definitely did us proud and it was great to reward them with a day of fun at the water park.
The trip back was long, with one kids dropping bad smells for twenty minutes solid, so that as the smell spread up the bus the kids would scream as it hit them like a Mexican wave.  They all blamed one little boy who eventually burst into tears as he was blameless.  No one likes being blamed for something they never did.  The real culprit was the last off the bus at the toilet stop in the bushes along the side of the road.  When we asked if he'd been the one farting, he just gave a sick smile and nodded his head sadly.  He didn't even try and deny it, but the rest of the bus never knew it was him.
Now admin for next year, reports, all little bits and pieces, just enough to keep me from what I really want to do - write.
The power problems with Tanesco are getting worse.  I've decided I need to buy a woman-friendly generator that starts with a push of a button or a key.  No more of this pull-rope one that hits me in the face every time I try it after the fundi removed the safety cover to make it work better!  Work better?  I laugh in his general direction!  The blasted thing, brand new out the box, has never worked since I bought it in November!
I'm hoping to get the first draft of How to Say No to Sex and other Survival Tips for the Suddenly Single finished before the holidays start, but I'm not sure if that is realistic of me.
My book sales, especially on Kindle, are going crazy, and I've sold over 1000 in May for the first time.  If you've got a Kindle, an iPad, a Sony E-reader or a Nook, you need to check out my books which are available on all those formats, as well as on Amazon.com as Paperbacks.
I'm thinking, maybe after this week things will start to slow down for the holidays...
Cheers,
Cindy

Omigod! Civilisation!

We'd heard quite a bit about Dar-Es-Salaam from people who'd been there before.  Dirty, busy, horrendous traffic.  Nobody, however, told us how civilised it is.  Especially on the Seacliff side.  Enormous mansions, beautifully tarred roads, great restaurants, shopping malls, we thought we'd accidentally left the country without realising it.  In comparison, Moshi is a one-horse town, and the horse died several years ago.  I do like Moshi though.  We don't have much traffic.  The traffic in Dar is a problem, but not nearly as bad as Mumbai.  I didn't find it dirty at all, and yeah it's the capital so it should be busy.  It was a great getaway but I'm not sure if I could live there, as there are far too many temptations to spend your money on.  I'd be flat-broke in five seconds. 

My book launch was great, A Novel Idea is one of the nicest bookshops I've been in, a great selection of books, I felt quite privileged to have my book launch there.  They're opening a branch in Arusha in June, so that is definitely something to look forward to.

The first two nights we stayed at the Jambo Inn in the city centre.  It's very budget and has a good restaurant downstairs.  Good for one night if you are catching the ferry to Zanzibar in the morning, but I wouldn't recommend it for longer than a night.  Our last night we stayed at the Q-bar and this I recommend highly.  Double the price of the Jambo Inn, but worth every penny.  A great English breakfast with proper filter coffee is included in the price.

Of course being me, there has to be some crazy madcap adventure to our weekend away.  We once again fell foul to corruption on the roads.  What is it with me and these traffic guys?  On the way to Dar we were only stopped twice, and both times the little traffic policeman looked in the car and asked if Siobhan was my daughter.  Although, the first one actually first asked if she was my son.  When I said yes, they waved me to continue driving.  Most bizarre.  Did they think I was kidnapping her or something?
But on the way back, a loose wire somewhere in the car was telling the car a door was open, which caused my hazard lights to flash on and off all the time.  I slammed all the doors closed so forcefully, that I almost sprained my wrist.  But, that damn loose wire was still sending out the wrong signals.  We left Dar confusing all the other drivers in the torrential rain, as they didn't know which way we were turning.  There's nothing like a car not doing what it's supposed to be doing, to put me in a bad mood, which poor Siobhan got the brunt of.  My girl, I'm sorry for snapping at you when you only wanted to give me a piece of melted chocolate while I was trying to negotiate the road in the pouring rain with my hazard lights flicking on and off like a disco.

As I gathered speed, the loose wire stopped making the hazard lights go on and off, and the trip became quite pleasant.  Even the rain stopped.  Unfortunately, as I overtook a staggering truck that was going so slowly it was almost going backwards, a little traffic man jumped out from next to a 30km speed limit sign.  Now you can't overtake a truck at 30km an hour, and you can't magically change from about 80km an hour to 30km an hour in the space of one metre.  He told me he thought I was speeding.  Obviously, I denied it, so he called over his little helper with the speed camera thing.  71km an hour.  "How do you know that's my car?" I asked, noting that their speed catching contraption does not record photos of the vehicle or licence plates.
"Look," the little helper man said, and took the speed of the next car.  21km an hour.  "See how slow he's going?"  Of course, he didn't realise by doing that, he was wiping out the speed of my car.
"Well," I said with a grim smile trying to feign patience, "He's only going slow because he can see you and me dancing around in the road.  In fact, he's going so slow he's a hazard to the safety of the rest of us on the road.  He should be the one you stop and fine."
The main traffic guy didn't fall for my advanced female logic.  "So do you want to go to court, or can I write you a ticket for TSH 20 000?"  That's roughly $20.
"But what speed was I going again?  Show me?"  I knew that I had them foxed as they had replaced my speed reading with the reading from the next car.
The traffic guy laughed.  "If you go to court you'll win as we don't have your speed anymore, but think of how much time and expense fighting it in court will take?"
He had me.  His English was far too good.  "Well then, I fine you TSH 20 000 for having such a bad road with potholes, it's a danger to drivers," I countered.
He agreed with me, and by then all the traffic police were laughing and pointing to the potholes in the road.  I thought I'd won the battle, but then he produced the ticket book again.  "So, court or fine?"
Bastard.  "How about, I just give you TSH 10 000 and we forget about court and fine?"
"Sure," the greedy corrupt bastard said as he held out his hand to take my money.
Civilisation comes with a price, I reckon.  It opens the doors for corruption.

Cars and condoms

I have decided that the veritable Murphy should be hanged, drawn and quartered, and his body parts put in a black plastic bag and dumped in the sea next to Dexter's victims.  Murphy and his stupid laws drive me crazy.  They always happen when you don't want them to.  Take this week for example.  My car has been going swimmingly well.  But frigging Murphy knows full well that I'm traveling to Dar for my book launch this weekend, so what does he do, he creates havoc.
My electric window which I'd just had repaired at a cost of $70 three weeks before, refused to wind back up.  I pressed the button and the little motor inside the door hummed and buzzed like a constipated bee.  Luckily, the fundi repaired it and only charged me $10, but I'm a little too scared to use it as I can't afford to be in Dar the weekend with a car with a window that can't close.
Then some kind parent points to my back tyre with beautifulk tread and shows me a bulge.  Lovely.  Not a good idea to drive to Dar with a bulge sticking out of your tyre.  There's not a place in moshi where you drive in and get a tyre repaired or replaced.  No, you have to find a car spares place, negotiate a price for your tyre, load the new one in your boot, then find a fundi on the side of the road who changes tyres.  $130 for the tyre and thank the good Lord, only $3 for he fundi.  My other tyres are all Goodyear.  The new one is called Goodtime or something like that.  A Chinese copy of Goodyear.
Tyre all sorted, my wallet screaming with hunger pains, we go to El Rancho Thursday night to celebrate my promotion starting August of Head of Primary/PYP Coordinator.  I click my key remote to unlock the car to go home.  Click, click, click.  Nothing.  the car stays locked, the blue light on the dash of the alarm stays flashing.  I manually unlock the door with the key, as we used to do in the good old days.  Alarm goes off, sending the waitresses scurrying around like ants.  I try and start the car with the alarm blaring, but it has a special cut out feature.  Good if it's a robber, bad if it's you.  I search for some button to turn off the alarm, but it remains elusive.  I look for wires to yank, but they are too well hidden.  Whoever installed the alarm did a blastedly good job.  The waitresses are now sitting on El Rancho porch, laughing at me and my attempts to turn off my car alarm.  I want to get home.  The MSG in their food is already having an effect on my stomach.  I can feel it bubbling and rumbling and I know without a doubt, that I need my bathroom.  My hair stands up on my arms.  "We;ll walk," I say to Siobhan who glares at me and lifts her heavy backpack onto her back as she's only just returned from a very wet camping trip on West Kili.  I lock the car, the alarm blissfully stops, but the blue light still flashes that it's on, and we walk home.  Luckily, it's just around the crner, but Siobhan grunts and curses and cries, but I pretend not to hear her, just trudging on ahead, selectively deaf.  I sort of sadistically pray that the alarm will keep going off during the night and wipe the smiles and laughter off the waitresses faces.  But it doesn't.  All it does do is give me a sleepless night as I spend all night tossing and turning straining to hear my alarm going off inbetween the sounds of yapping, barking, howling dogs.  Our usual nightime lullaby.
Of course it rained all night long, so the next morning we had to wade through mud to negotiate our way to school.  Mr. Chucky, the school purchaser, took my keys and managed to get the batteries replaced, so thank God now it works.
On my way walking to El Rancho after school to fetch the car and try out the key, I came upon a pile of five used condoms on the side of the road.  Yes, I'm afraid I did count them as I found them intriguing.  they offered up so many questions.  How did they get there?  Was it one man who had sex five times or a gang bang?  Where did they come from?  Did some man just throw them out of the window as he drove past?  Because he couldn't have had sex there, as it's the road which is quite busy, and next to the road is a gravel path, the little stones would have been a passion killer for any woman, and then a deep ditch, so why were the condoms on the gravel?  Intriguing, definitely food for thought.  At least someone is practising safe sex.
Well, had better pack, I'm leaving for Dar-Es-Salaam in an hour.  Siobhan wants toasted hot cross buns, so I have to do my mommy-thing.  Wish me luck for my Book Launch on Monday night!  Have you bought your copy of The Case of Billy B yet from Amazon.com?
love
Cindy

Roll on holidays

Schools out on Friday!  Yippee-dee-doo-dah or however you write that.  I should be more organised with an hotel booked but I'm not.  All I know, is that my big book signing/book launch which kicks off the start of my African Book Tour is at A Novel Idea, Slipway branch, Dar-Es-Salaam, Tanzania on Monday 29th March at 6pm.  I haven't even decided yet, whether I'm driving to Dar on the Saturday or Sunday, or if after the book signing, we'll hop on a ferry and spend a few days in Zanzibar.  Apparently, after 3 months of no power, the power is finally back on in Zanzibar.  So what to do?  At the moment, I have no idea.  I'm so caught up in writing Not Telling, the story is so consuming, I think about it constantly.  I'm not sure how it ends yet, I'm hoping the characters will decide for me.
Hopefully, this week will fly.  I'm definitely ready for a holiday.  Quite a few people around me have been hit with malaria of late, so it's definitely in our area.  I might have to get some of that mozzie spray to keep them away.
I really have to start working on the planning for our drive down to Cape Town in June.  I have to get a carnet de passage, to allow me to drive my car through different countries.  The problem is, is that they like to keep your carnet at the border here which is going to be a problem as I'm going to be driving through a few different countries and coming back another route.  Hopefully, I'll be able to make them see sense, but I'm not holding my breath.  Money will probably have to change hands to make it work.
Well, breakfast for me and then I'm doing some more work on Not Telling.  Have a chapter to finish, and this one has to end in a twist so I need my wits about me.
Have a great week!
luv

Cindy